Friday, July 18, 2008

Top 5 Celebrity Hypocrites

Too many people get famous by preaching messages that they themselves don't follow. They publicly condemn actions and influence a slew of people to hang on their every word as if it came directly from the Almighty. Instead of being caught up in these lies, it's about time you deviated from the general public's blissful ignorance and learn the truth about the role models whom society has placed on a pedestal.

Dr. Phil McGraw (1950 - )

His Preach - Every problem has a glamorous and half hour solution
Dr. Phil likes to be the problem solver of all relationship issues. He likes to boast that his daytime talk show is 2nd in the nation because it helps people solve their problems with a "get real" approach.

His Practice - Divorce
Unable to deal with his own problems at home, Dr. Phil is currently undergoing a divorce. He's willing to throw around the hefty sum of $200 million to get his (ex) wife to shut up and not spill the beans on his whole operation. A single testimony from his wife on how terrible he is in the homestead would pretty much kill his career as a self-help guru. How can you let this pseudo-psychology babbling hick tell you how live your life, give the illusion that his half-hour spectacles are actually psychiatry and take oodles of money in the process?

Robert Atkins (1930 - 2003)

His Preach - Carbs=Evil
The famous Atkins diet taught millions of people to avoid carbs like hookers with herpes. Robert Atkins convinced his followers that filling your body with nothing but proteins and totally cutting out carbohydrates would ultimately lead to weight loss and perfect health.

His Practice - Heart Attack
A year before he died, Atkins suffered a heart attack. Eating nothing but fatty steak dinners might have clogged his arteries and left his ol' ticker helpless. I guess that's what we call "poetic justice." In spite of this incident, people continue to hold onto the mindframe that carbs are the spawn of Satan and the consumption of any sort of bread will lead to morbid obesity.

Michael Moore (1954 - )

His Preach - The Righteous Fighter of The Working Man
Mr. Moore likes to portray himself as the "everyday working man." He's always sporting an ill-fitted baseball cap and fronting a 3-day Castaway beard. He claims that he grew up in a working class family and can relate to the lower-tier factory worker. He believes that the world needs to be rid of the fat, rich white men who spawned out of the abomination known as American capitalism.

His Practice - The Fat, Rich White Man Of Whom He Warns
Michael is anything but an everyday working man. He fought to extend his million dollar beach house's private beach onto wetlands. Contradictory to socialist ideology, Moore sends his child to a private school so he won't mingle with the working class.
Moore was never a working class child. His parents both made a decent salary and, as result, Michael grew up in an upper-middle class home in the white, upper-middle class town of Davison, Michigan (Not Flint, as Moore likes to claim.). In reality, Michael Moore is the fat, rich white man he likes to warn people about. He's never had any connection to the "working man." All he's doing is creating propaganda that appeals to the majority of a population. Don't confuse his marketing with righteousness and don't be fooled into thinking he, in any way, represents the working man.

Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (1869 - 1948)

His Preach - Tolerance and Faith
Gandhi is remembered as the apitomy of peace, understanding and tolerance. To this day, die-hard hippies like to quote him on their Facebook profiles. It's safe to say that, in the minds of people today, Gandhi was so pure and good meaning, that any negative comments about him is blasphemy. One of his quotes on tolerance went like this:
"Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding."
Gandhi was also a very religious man and believed deeply in the gods of Hinduism. When his wife, Kasturba, was sick with pneumonia, Gandhi refused to allow British doctors administer penicillin. A drug which would've ultimately saved her life. Instead, Gandhi believed that the gods would heal her.

His Practice - Racism and Cowardice
Gandhi was overtly racist. He constantly emphasized that Indians should not be confused with the blacks of South Africa. In the following quote, Kaffir is an ethnic slur aimed at Black South Africans (equivalent to saying "nigger")
“A general belief seems to prevail in the colony that the Indians are little better, if at all, than the savages or natives of Africa. Even the children are taught to believe in that manner, with the result that the Indian is being dragged down to the position of a raw Kaffir”
So much for tolerance. Gandhi went on to say: ""Kaffirs are as a rule uncivilised — the convicts even more so. They are troublesome, very dirty and live almost like animals."
Although letting the gods heal the body was okay for his wife, when Gandhi himself became ill, he immediately insisted that he be given medication. When you force your wife to die then cowardly back away from the same morals that killed her...that kinda makes you a hypocrite....and a huge douche bag.

Al Gore (1948 - )

His Preach - Lower Energy Consumption
Al Gore is making millions of dollars making people feel guilty about their high fuel consumption. Millions of people are spending their hard earned money on "green" products and are going out of their way to be "green" and "eco friendly" because Al Gore says that the world will flood soon.

His Practice - Consume 30 Times More Energy Than The Average American
Al Gore Nashville mansion consumes 30 times more energy than an average home on a monthly basis. While most people burn through 10,656 kilowatt-hours (kWh) per year, Mr. Gore's mansion used up almost 221,000 kWh! After releasing An Inconvenient Truth, energy consumption went up by more than 2,000 kWh in Gore household. His excuse for this is that he invest in renewable energy initatives so, in reality, he's carbon neutral. What he doesn't say is that he's actually investing into his own company. So while you're breaking your head open to "think green" Mr. Gore is laughing his ass off at how he's managed to brainwash millions and live the good life at the same time.