Tuesday, September 23, 2008
This show doesn't provide you with answers to anything. If you're really curious about anything, look it up. Don't trust a 15 second cut sequence, that mainly illustrates breasts, for your source of any kind of information. If someone ever starts a conversation with me based on something they saw on Manswers, I'll punch them square in the mouth. Not only does the show tell you dick all about anything, but the fact that you sat through an entire episode and took it seriously means you're a total gooch scab that doesn't deserve to keep all his teeth.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Avoid Eye Contact
The human brain is designed to pay the most attention to a set of eyes. Have you ever noticed that some people always see a face in a smoky picture and claim it's a ghost. That's because, as a survival instinct, humans are conditioned to find a face. By hiding your eyes, you're hiding the most defining feature of your face and are therefore less likely to have a gaze shot your way.
Keep your arms low and folded in front of you. Humans will instinctively direct their attention towards another creature with its limbs in the air as it could be a potential threat. Keeping your arms crossed makes you smaller in the eyes of all those around as well as their subconscious minds. Should you ever need to stretch your arms, remember to stretch them down. Spreading your arms to the side or upwards, will merit you unneeded gazes. Just like in the animal world, appearing bigger and more spread out is designed to get you attention be everyone around.
(Never) Dress to Impress
Before attending the event, think long and hard about the dress code and what the guests will be wearing. If you're wearing a necktie in a room full of bow ties, you can be damn sure that, as eyes glaze across the room, they'll stop on you. If you want yo be unnoticed and forgotten, it's imperative that you can be easily mistaken for anyone else in the room.
When sitting around a long table, sit closer to one of the ends as opposed to the middle. Never sit at either head of the table. The middle is where the action is and people at either end of the table tend to look inwards towards the center as opposed to outward. However, should you find yourself in a situation where you're sitting around a smaller table, it's best to sit in the middle since the heads of the table are receiving the most attention.
Lay off the Booze
Holding a glass of wine can help you blend in and might take the edge off, but down it too quickly and you'll catch some uninvited gazes. One thing about society today is that we feed off drama. No other creature will sit in front of a box for hours watching a member of its own species embarrass on shows like "Cops" and "America's Funniest Home Videos." With all that in mind, alcohol has thrown many great men off their game. One slight misstep after your 3rd tequila shot will have you flagged by anyone who witnesses it. For the rest of the night they'll observe your actions for any sign of increased intoxication. Being under such close supervision is no way to have your face forgotten the next day. Try to nurse that bourbon on the rocks, chief.
Dodge the Spotlight
It’s inevitable that you get in a conversation or two at a party. If you’re not interacting with people, you’ll get noticed as a creepy background guy who is purposely avoiding everyone. So your goal is to converse, but say very little. To accomplish this, when in a conversation, keep the attention on the person you’re speaking to. People, more than anything, love themselves. People will gladly talk about their lives and boast about that which they should be ashamed. If you keep asking questions and fake interest in your talking partner, they’ll end up liking you but then realize that they know nothing about you. Also, you don’t want to risk saying anything that might attract the attention of an eavesdropper and cause a group conversation.
Never assume that being an omega male is bad. It's simply another form of adaptation. Unlike the alpha or beta male, the omega spends his time observing his surroundings and gathering information from others. Just because a man is in the omega position and gets no attention doesn't mean he's inferior or any less dangerous. When you enter a party as omega, the golden rule is to check your ego at the door. An omega stays in the shadows and comes out only when it is absolutely necessary. Be safe.