Friday, December 21, 2007

How To Get A Raise Or Promotion

It's no secret; you want money. People that say money doesn't lead to happiness are full of shit. You'd be much happier if you saw some better digits on your check. Here's some tips I've gathered about how to get that raise or promotion.

Firstly, you must prepare yourself before meeting with the boss. A good general will flank his problem from any side possible (well, maybe not, but screw you for ruining the analogy).

Flower Power - If it's acceptable in your workplace, bring in a plant of potted flower to put on your desk. This not only gives off a warmer and more personal vibe, but it also shows that you actually care about your workplace. It shows that your work is something in which you take pride. I wouldn't recommend this for straight men because...well you'll look stupid.

Clean your desk - I don't give a shit about what any cute phrases have to say about messy desks. If your desk is messy, it means you're having trouble staying on top of things. If you're aiming for a promotion, that will most probably require more responsibility, you're going to want to show you can handle the challenge.

Be on top of your work - Any open work that has been left undone has to be finished. The last thing you need when you're asking for a raise or promotion is for your boss to ask about your procrastinated task and, like an embarrassed putz, you'll have to make up an excuse as to why you haven't gotten around to getting your job done.

Dress for Success - If you didn't already know, the golden rule of clothing in the workplace, here it is: "dress for the job you want, not for the job you have." If you want to convince people that you can handle the job, you have to help them picture you in that position. This means that, even if you can get away with sweatshirt and jeans on some days, you should make the effort to still dress nicely. Dressing like a big shot will get people used to the idea that you are some sort of big deal. We were all told by our mother's that clothes don't make the person, but mommy never said that clothes don't make a good impression of the person.

In a perfect work environment, your boss would fully recognize your efforts and reward you justly. Unfortunately, we don't live in this land of omniscient bosses and one sometimes has to take what he wants. Here's what you do and don't do to ask for a raise or promotion.

Clean yourself up - I don't know what this means for women, but I can help the guys. Here's some invaluable tips to make you look like a million bucks. Your boss will subconsciously form a general idea of you and your history based on how you currently look.

Save the waterworks - Never try to gain any leverage by saying you need the money for a hospital bill or your new child or to pay your rent. Your boss doesn't need to hear your sob story. You're asking for a reward for your hard work and an incentive to continue pushing yourself in the company. This isn't a charity donation and any hint of self-pity will get you nowhere.

Be "you" heavy - Everyone has 1 favorite person in the world; one person that they always care for. That person is themselves. People like it when the topic of conversation is them. This means you should watch your phrasing. Instead of saying "I think I deserve a raise/promotion" say "wouldn't you agree that I deserve a promotion?" Not only does this tell the boss that the topic of thought is his own decision on whether or not to give a promotion, but it also saves him a lot of mental. When you say "I deserve a promotion" the boss thinks to himself "he wants a promotion, do I think he deserves a promotion?" When you ask "wouldn't you agree that I deserve a promotion?, however, the first step in his though process is cut out and is able to immediately think "do I think he deserves a promotion/raise?" Making the metal task easier will likely raise your chance of getting a positive response. This theory comes from the book "How to Talk to Anyone" by Leil Lowndes

Confident in every sense - It's important to give of the impression that you're confident that you deserve this raise/promotion and your not afraid to ask. This means that you can ask as directly as you want, but if you start fidgeting or looking away, you're screaming out "I'm extremely unsure about this!" This means that, firstly, you won't let your eyes stray past his shoulders. Secondly, your hands are to be at your side, never to be crossed in front of you (means your hiding something) and absolutely NEVER anywhere near your face. Putting you hand near your face will not only cause your speech to be less clear, but it also gives off the impression that you're desperately trying to hide behind someone. It would be wise to practice all these rules at first so you don't panic and make a fool of yourself in the actual meeting.

Sticking to these pretty basic guidelines may not guarantee you the promotion or raise, but you're absolutely better off following these steps. Regardless of the outcome, this was not an "act" that's over. You should adopt these habits because they're likely to help you again further down the road. Should you happen to get a raise, I think it's only fair that you send me a thank you card along with $5 via paypal to show your gratitude.

For more reading on the subject, you should check out: