Do Trust Sprays Really Work?

So you're most likely reading this article because you've been seeing ads about these sprays that are proven to get salesmen more sales and bachelors more women. You're now just doing your research to see if you can find even a single unbiased, unsponsored review of ANY of the trust sprays currently on the market. Well, you're in luck. I tested out one of the spray and, even though it's just one man's review, it's an honest one.

I won't leave you in suspense and force you to strain your brain with word, trust sprays are bullshit. They're a scam and a waste of your hard earned money. For 80% of you, that's all the info you needed and will stop reading here since you're running off to waste $30 on some other gimmick. Enjoy.

So for you (unfortunately) few who actually care to educate themselves, here's how I arrived to such a conclusion:

Trust sprays work on the principal of oxytocin being the bonding hormone. The theory is that oxytocin is a natural hormone released in the brain that is associated with trust, intimacy, bonding, etc. It's the hormone released in a new mother when she breastfeeds her child, of partners in a relationship when they interact and in just about anyone when they feel intimacy in whatever form. It's pretty much scientifically proven that smelling oxytocin while interacting with someone will lead to increased trust and generosity towards that person.

While many companies will use very credible scientific evidence to back up the claim that their oxytocin concoction really works, they fall short in one very crucial area. In tests involving oxytocin, a high concentration is sprayed directly into the nasal passage where it can immediately take effect on the brain since it can only survive in the air for about 30 seconds. The trust sprays, however, are sprayed on your own body and are diluted heavily with alcohol. The result is a sucker who just dished out 30 bucks to temporarily coat himself with an ineffective dose of oxyticin and smell faintly of cheap vodka.

Don't think that I'm all talk, either. I bought a trust spray by the name of "Liquid Trust" by Vero Labs I was conveniently working in a popular electronics retail store that meticulously monitors our sales stats at the time and decided I'd try a 1 month supply. If I had significant results, I'd tell all my salesmen colleagues about it, order it in bulk and sell it off to them for a profit (I'm not THAT stupid). This is the small psuedo-experiment I set up for myself. I would test sales performance under the following conditions:

1 week of spraying myself vs 1 week of not
1 week of spraying my friend vs 1 week of not
1 week of spraying a friend without their knowledge vs 1 week of not
2 dates with a trust spray vs 2 without

The Results:
I improved slightly, though not significantly
My consenting friend stayed at the same level
My oblivious friend saw a slight decrease in sales
My dates were all extremely successful...but lets be honest; that's just cause I'm me. Have you seen me lately? Damn.

I know you really want it to be true that, with a few spritzes, you  can earn more money and have to fight women off. It would be so glamorous if someone offered you a magic potion, at an affordable price, that did just that. Unfortunately, there is no such magic formula.There's no substituting good old fashioned charisma and a healthy knowledge of psychology....unless your date is comfortable with you dosing them via nasal spray upon first contact....never know, some bitches be freakyyy

Peace out, Suckas.

PS: I'd really like to know how many silly $30 purchases I've saved. If you got this far and were talked out of the purchase, please throw a little "thanks dude" in the comments below.

Welcome back, Kotter

Konichiwa Bitches!
Yes, I'm going to try to revive the blog. Primarily because you're all lost without me. I took a hiatus to study a whole new set of tips, tiffs and tits. All the knowledge I so pompously dished out up till now took the better part of a decade for me to acquire so you'll forgive me for taking a couple years off. Now that I have a fresh batch mental vomit to hurl your way, you can look forward to me heroically saving you from many more pitfalls. You can avoid being the worst kind of 99% - the ones who aren't hanging on my every word and benefiting from my gospel to the fullest. Good to be back, suckas.

Clothes Make the Man: The Psychological Power of Suits

A friend of mine recently asked me if I thought activists would be taken more seriously if they wore a suit. Any douchy magazine can tell you "a suit symbolizes power and money and makes you look successful." That's the uninspired bullshit you can find in the back covers over comic books. This is how a suit really makes you the man.

The Blazer

The focal points of the blazer are the shoulders. The shoulder pads turn weak, round shoulders into broad, load bearing ones. Female politicians have already caught on to the idea. A firm set of shoulders portrays you as a stronger, more fit and generally more dependable person. The blazer also comes in on the waist to give a slim, fitted appearance that also makes your shoulders seem bigger by comparison.

The Tie

The tie is the colorful center of the suit. Its dimensions accomplish two things. First of all, it's a vertical line running down the length of your torso. Ever heard of wearing vertical stripes to make you look taller? This is essentially the same thing. A taller man is seen as a better leader. It's no coincidence that, of the past 27 US president, 21 were taller than the person they were running against.
The second function of the tie is to work in conjunction with the shoulder pads to make you appear broader. Ever walk around with a fat chick to make you look skinny? This works on the same principal. The eye is constantly comparing objects in its visual field to pick up cues of their sizes. The skinny tie in the middle of your chest works to makes you look even wider and more intimidating.

The Pants

Suit pants are, for the most part, pressed with a nice, neat pleat running down the length of the leg. This is just another example of vertical lines at work. The suit is actually quite good at creating straight vertical lines but why is it so crucial? It has to do with the way the human eye examines an object. The eye doesn't simply fixate itself at the center point of an object and, from there, scan it entirely. Instead, the eye fixates itself at various points of contrast on the object. The path the eye travels between points of fixation are called saccades. The pant pleats create a vertical line of contrast and ensures that the saccades are mostly vertical in their orientation.

The Shirt

The shirt, being the bottom-most layer, is the backup for all the other weapons in your arsenal. It is crisp, clean and bright so that it can accentuate the features of the blazer, tie and your face. The neck and collar, unlike any other shirt you wear, is made of straight lines. This is to contrast the angles of your chin and make it look more defined and masculine; a trait that is examined when you’re being judged on your attractiveness. More attractive people are generally assumed to be more confident, extroverted and better leaders. The solid color of the tie also serves to contrast the edges of the tie and blazer so that they can do their respective jobs.

The Watch

Some of you will be thinking that a watch isn’t part of a suit. Nothing could be further from the truth. The watch is a crucial accessory that not only allows you to display bling in a modest and classy fashion, but also send a strong message about who you are as a person. The watch sends the signal that you’re conscious of the time and you work on a schedule. It tell people that your life is organized because you manage yourself accordingly. It doesn’t matter if you have the time on your phone or iPod. You need to have a watch.

So, to finally answer my friend, absolutely yes. A well fitted suit makes you look bigger, taller, and more organized. So long as it is worn in the proper context, a suit is designed to enhance your masculine features and, in doing so, subconsciously demands respect and sets you apart from the shlubs who opt for the khakis and parka.

Drinks for Two #9: Easter-ning into Spring

So you're hosting an Easter family gathering and everyone's looking to you for a creative drink to reflect the Easter merriment.

Cadbury Easter Egg

3/4 oz. Cream de Cacao
1/2 oz. Bailey's Caramel
Fill 10% Cream

When someone mentions "Easter" do you think of the resurrection of Christ? The circle of life? The blooming spring flowers? No, you think of Cadbury easter eggs in all their chocolaty goodness.

Peep Cocktail

3/4 oz. Rum
1/2 oz. Triple Sec
Fill Grapefruit juice

It's just not Easter without the lovable marshmallow chicks that you always buy but never really enjoy eating. Some traditions just aren't meant to be understood. At least you can still enjoy the drink version of the puffed sugar nausea.

How to Smoke a Water Pipe

Shisha, nargila, hookah, whatever you choose to call it, it's increased in popularity in the last few years. With the recession still among us, creating a lounge atmosphere at home is becoming a fashionable and cost efficient way of spending an evening. Here's what you need to know if you want to hit the ground running in the hookah bizCoals

There are two kinds of coals you'll be seeing: natural and quick light. Natural coals need to be lit on a stove, bbq or coal chimney. Quick lights can easily be lit with a plain lighter. If you're just starting out with shisha, you shouldn't be hassling yourself with natural coals. Just get yourself some quick lights and don't complicate your life. When you get a bit

more adept at preparing your hookah and feel yourself wanting to fine-tune the quality of your smoke, natural coals generally burn longer, maintain a constant temperature and produce less ash.

Buying Shisha Tobacco
If you're lucky enough to live in a place where flavoured tobacco isn't outlawed (like Canada. Haha. Americans, envy my fruity-tasting tobacco and the way I write flavoUred!) then you should find yourself a source of shisha tobacco. It's different from cigarette rolling tobacco in that the cut is a lot thicker and the dried leaves are glazed with fruit preserve and molasses. If you can't find a tobacconist near you that sells it, there's a brand being sold on eBay for a very reasonable $3 a box. They get away with it because it's sugar cane bagasse and not really tobacco. Personally, I prefer it over the tobacco varieties. In any case, your shisha should be sticky and moist. Should you happen upon a dry batch or your batch dries up, glazing the dry leaves in honey and letting it sit for about an hour should breathe new life into your tobacco. To prevent having to resort to this, it's advised to store your nargila boxes in the fridge.

Coal Handling
Whenever handling a coal it's important to use a set of coal tongs (for obvious reasons).
Avoid smoking the hookah while quick light coals are in the process of lighting. The smoke the let out is quite unpleasant.
To light a new coal, just put a new coal on top of the lit one and blow gently. It should catch in no time.
If you're transitioning to a new coal, you may want to keep you old coal on for a bit until the new one reaches full heat. Pay special attention to the flavor of the smoke. If you notice it becomes harsher, you're burning your coals too hot and that's your cue to remove one.
It's normal to go through 2-3 coals depending on the size of the bowl, quality of the coals, moisture of the tobacco, etc.
Start your coal on the edge of the bowl and gradually, over the process of the full smoking session, shift it around the entire perimeter of the bowl. This will ensure a full and pleasant burn of your tobacco. Leaving the coal in the middle for the entire session will lead to a charred center bowl and an unburnt circumference. On top of that, the tobacco is more likely to heat up past the optimal temperature and produce a harsher smoke


Preparing the Hookah

• Fill the vase with water
• Wet the rubber gaskets of the stem, connect the stem to the vase and twist it a bit to form a good seal.
• Connect the hose to the stem and, again, twist it a bit to form a good seal.
• Wet the gasket of the bowl and twist it on.
• Fill the bowl with tobacco and cover it in foil as if you were wrapping a serving bowl of food.
• With a fork or tooth pick, punch a few holes in the aluminum.
• Light the coal and set it on the foil
• Let the coal sit for 30 seconds.
• Start smoking the shisha.
• As you draw, the smoke will gradually get thicker.
• When the air filled part of the vase turns opaque with smoke, you know your hookah's smoking at full capacity.

Filling the vase:
Since the water in the vase is what's going to be filtering and cooling your smoke, it should come as no surprise that altering the contents will lead to new flavors and a better smoke. Firstly, the colder the water the better. You can even add ice to the vase and/or put it in the freezer. Cold water makes a thicker and cooler smoke. Instead of water, you can choose to put in a variety of liquids like wine, coffee, juice, spirits, milk. Of all of them, the most successful for me has been some cold juice with a few sprigs of mint. One thing that's great about shisha is that you can fine tune the recipe to produce your signature tobacco/liquid blend.

Filling the bowl:

The tobacco should have a good smell and be very sticky. If you notice it's dried up, just drizzle a bit of honey on it and let it absorb. When you do pack your bowl, pile the tobacco down and gently press down. Your mound should rise slightly above the level of the lip of the bowl. Cover it with a piece of aluminum and poke holes in the foil with a fork, toothpick or any fine poking device.

Cleaning

Vase
Hookah vases tend to be in intricate shapes and are almost always a chore to clean. Sure, the dummies solution is to pop it in the dishwasher but, since the opening is so narrow in comparison to the rest of the vase, the inside won't receive a steam bath at best. If you actually want to get you vase clean and not gross your friends out with crap floating in your hookah water, you'll head to a place where you'll go to a kitchen store and look for one of those bendable scrubbing sticks for wine decanters. The poor man's solution is to put a small handful of uncooked rice in your bowl along with two cups of hot, soapy water. Shake and swirl your vase up like a lychee martini. The rice should act as an abrasive that'll scrub the walls.

Bowl
The bowl, being a simple piece of ceramic, can be scrubbed or put in the dishwasher like any other ceramic piece.

Stem
The importance of stem cleanliness is highly underrated. A dirty, sooty stem leads to a less pure, harsher smoke. Put the stem under a hot faucet and let the water run through the length of the stem to remove the loose soot and soften the encrusted layer. Next use a pipe brush to remove all the crap from the inside.Hose
Unless you know for a fact your hose is washable, it probably isn't. Running water through the inside could crack the rubber. Instead, blow as hard as you can through the hose while rapidly block and unblocking the end.

Tongs
Pop ‘em in the dishwasher. Shame on you for making me explain that.

Shisha Etiquette
Shisha, unlike cigarette smoking, is a social event. While your typical Tau Bro Phi probably won't know a thing about any sort etiquette associated with smoking nargila, if you find yourself in a Middle Eastern shisha lounge (or country) it's expected that you respect a certain level of decorum. Here are the basic rules you should keep in mind:

1. The hookah bong is built tall for a reason. It's meant to be placed on the floor next to you, not on the table. Putting it on the table is seen as a form of idol worship - a no-no in a monotheistic culture.


2. Never pass the hose hand to hand. Rest in on the table to the next person in rotation and rotate the hookah if need be.


3. If it's your turn with the hose, don't rest it on the table unless your passing it. It's seen as rude to not let others smoke just so you can take a breather while the tobacco's still smoking. Either puff or pass.


4. On the flip side of rule #2, it's rude to hurry a person with the hose or ask that he pass it. Basically it's a mutually understood manner that one person won't delay too long and the others won't pressure him. It's all for the sake of preserving the friendly, relaxed atmosphere.


5. Don't think that just because people are smoking, it's okay for you to light up a cigarette. There's something to be enjoyed about the mellow, fruity aroma of the nargila in the air.

And that's all she wrote. It may sound like an intricate process but it's all really common sense. It's just the close attention to detail that separates the truly enjoyable, relaxing smoke experience from the two high school seniors chuffing on ash in their parents' poorly heated garage. Whatever your situation may be, keep in mind that shisha smoking isn't about getting your nicotine fix. It's all about relaxing, socializing with friends, and occasionally just sitting back and enjoying smoke patterns. So take it easy and don't work too hard.

How to Smoke a Tobacco Pipe

Though it may seem a bit too nostalgic (or downright weird) pipe smoking is starting to make a significant comeback; especially in the 21 - 30 age demographic. Some appeal to the classy/manly look and feel of a pipe as they sit down with a friend, catch up on some reading, or sip some fail-me-not bourbon on the rocks. Others find more appeal in the fact that it is form of smoking that is less harmful than cigarettes. Whatever your reason, your looking to get into pipe smoking. Let's go over some basics.

Tobacco
Pipe tobacco varies greatly from one brand to the next. A good tobacconist will have a big enough selection to help you find exactly what kind of tobacco suits you.
To start off, the are two types of tobaccos you have to choose from- english or aromatic. The generalization is that beginners tend to like the sweet aromatics and more experienced pipe smokers will prefer a more full-bodied english tobacco. You can believe that if you want, but not everyone learns to appreciate Smirnoff Ice before they can enjoy Guiness, if you catch my metaphor. Whatever your preference, it's generally a good idea to find at least one aromatic tobacco you enjoy since, in a case where you find yourself smoking in front of others, people tend to like the smoke of aromatics. It's somewhat less intrusive. I've also heard of people hiding their pipe smoking session by using an aromatic tobacco and, afterwards, lighting an incense stick to blend with the smell and fool people into thinking the stick is the source of the odor.

Pipe tool
A pipe tool is super basic and doesn't need to be sophisticated at all. Basically, a pipe tool consists of a tamper, scoop and probe. The tamper is the flat foot used to “tamp” down the tobacco to let the embers spread. The probe is the long poker that’s used for stirring ash and aerating the tobacco. The scoop, through process of elimination and logical semantics, is used to scoop out the “dottle” – the ash and unburnt tobacco.

Filters
A pipe filter is an optional addition to your smoking experience. The filter is a piece of either cotton with carbon in it or balsa wood. Filters advertise that they absorb many of the carcinogens in the smoke. Along with that, the filter will also absorb some of the steam let off by the burning tobacco; leading to a cooler, drier smoke. Filters may also be something you'd want to try if you find yourself in the possession of a pipe that, all too often, begins gurgling from a moisture buildup.

Packing your pipe
This is where skill comes into play. Many people won't pack a pipe properly and might have an experience that discourages them from continuing. A properly packed pipe is like writing a short story. If you structure it properly and are conscious about the subtle details, you'll be drawn in with an intriguing introduction, held in place by a consistently enjoyable journey and, finally, be left satisfied with the gradual conclusion.
The predominant method of packing a pipe is the "Child, mother, father method." In this method, you grab your first pinch of tobacco, put it into the bowl of your pipe, and press it down gently with your finger - as a child would. Your next pinch of tobacco is put into the bowl and stuffed in with a press firmer than before. The third, and final, pinch of tobacco is placed into your bowl and pressed down firmly. By doing this, you're packing your bowl with layers of firmness that ensure a pleasant, even smoke.

Lighting your pipe
There are three main devices you can use to light your pipe. As with anything some tools are better suited for the job than others.

Matches: best - matches impart the perfect heat to the bowl. If your tobacco is burnt at too high of a heat, the smoke will be stingy and unpleasant. Matches tend to burn at relatively cool temperature. One thing to always remember is to let the match burn out the head before you bring it to the bowl. You don’t want the sulfuric, phosphoric properties of the match head affecting your smoke.

Butane lighter: Good – If you find yourself in a situation without matches, a butane lighter will do fine. Zippo makes a specialized pipe lighter that can be turned sideways and still have flame exposed below (see pic). Other lighters have a little extension that points the flame downwards. These are both just to make life easier for you.

Jet lighter: Worst – A jet-style lighter is probably the worst thing you could use to light your pipe. Your tobacco will char and produce a smoke that will scorch your tongue. If a jet lighter is all you have, then just don’t smoke. It’s like adding orange juice to your cereal because you don’t have milk. There is no possible reason to be using a jet lighter.

Whichever device you use to light, always keep the flame just above the tobacco and move it in a circular pattern while drawing in. The initial light is actually called a “false light.” The top layer of tobacco will light and puff up. The puffing up means the rest of the bowl won’t light. That’s why, after every initial light, you have to tamp the tobacco down and re-light to make sure you have a nice, last, even light.

It’s completely normal to have to relight your pipe 2-3 times throughout your smoke, the ash buildup tends to choke the embers of oxygen. Use your probe to gently stir and collapse the layers of ash then have another pass with your lighter/match.

Concluding the Experience
When your smoking experience is done, simply empty out the contents of the bowl using the scoop and let your pipe rest for about 24 hours before smoking again. For the first smoke, it’s especially important to let the pipe rest since it’s still being broken in. Also, for a new pipe, go very light on the scoop tool. Try not to scratch the walls of the bowl. You’re trying to buildup a carbon “cake” on the wall so as to give the bowl a bit of a burn protection layer for future lights.

As with most hobbies, you should invest in quality equipment for when you first start. Sure you can cut your spending to under $20 if you buy Captain Black and a pipe from China but that $20 is a complete waste if you end up having a bad experience and get turned off pipe smoking all together. Cheap tobaccos taste crappy. Cheap pipes can have a hot smoke, be prone to gurgling, have loose seals, break easily (happened to me), and even stain your hands with their varnish.

Anyone can buy a pack of cigarettes from a gas station and get their quick nicotine fix. Pipe smoking is about something completely different. It’s about appreciating smoke consistency, flavor, intensity, temperature, etc. I hope you enjoy your venture into pipe smoking. Keep it classy and take it easy.

I want to thank PipeFriendCHS for being my professor in Pipe Smoking 101. I recommend checking out his YouTube channel and how-to playlist.

Drinks for Two #8: Rudolph, Your Red-Nosed Uncle

Thank goodness Christmas is finally here! Nothing like wanton spending to boost our economy. What say we celebrate with a drink? You're finding yourself cozying up with your lovely after the kids are asleep; having a party of two, or maybe wanting to introduce some creative Christmas drinks at your next event. Here are some drinks that are sure to keep the chills away.

You'll have

Irish coffee
1/2 oz. of Kahlua
3/4 oz. Irish Whisky
Fill Coffee
Top with Baileys

Note: the ingredients are mixed in that order. The whisky is lit before the coffee is added. The tricky part is having it still flame while you add the coffee.

She'll have

White (Christmas) Russian
3/4 oz. Vodka
1/2 oz. Kahlua
Fill egg nog

Happy Holidays to you and yours. Good alcohol is my contribution to the evening's merriment. Always drink in moderation while enjoying.

Drinks for Two #7: Channukah Drink Recipes

Time to celebrate the festival of lights! I hope you're excited to light the candles, spin the dreidel and open presents. Among all the excitement, you can't forget the beverages. Nothing eases a person out of the cold and into a warm atmosphere like a well placed drinks. How about you offer your guests something original and Channukah-related this year? Here are some suggestions for drinks that you can serve that no one will find in any bar.

I'll have:

Saba's Hannukah Gelt

1 oz. Canadian Whiskey

1/2 oz. Peach Schnapps

Fill Orange Juice

Even Saba deserves his gelt on Channukah. Bonus: the vitamin C from the orange juice will keep your immune system charged this (swine) flu season

She'll have a:

Dairy Dream

2 oz. Bailey's

1 oz. Kahlua

Fill Hot Chocolate

Top whipped cream (optional)

This drink, not only keeps you warm and comforted, but it goes along with the tradition of eating dairy on Hannukah. When Jerusalem was under seige, Yehudit (Judith), an attractive widow, seduced the Syrian general and fed him cheese and wine. The following morning, the Syrian army woke up, found the general's head on one of the gates of Jerusalem and fled.

How Marijuana is Safer Than Alcohol

"Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell

The main point of Standard Deviations is to put you ahead of the crowd and put your head above the sea of ignorance in our world. Occasionally, social stigmas are made for political reasons and aren't founded in logic or science. Marijuana is one of those cases. Despite what you may think, dope is actually less dangerous than alcohol in every possible way.

Overdose?

A way of measuring a substance's toxicity is by it's lethal dose (LD). The LD50 is the amount of the given substance that will kill 50% of subjects. The LD50 of THC, according to published papers, is such that 1500 lbs. of marijuana would have to be smoked withing 15 minutes in order to reach the lethal level.

The lethal dose of MJ is approximately 1000 times greater than the effective dose. Meaning you would need to smoke 1000 times the regular amount to make it dangerous. As for alcohol, the lethal dose is 10 the effective dose, making the overdose actually possible.

There has never been a reported case of death by marijuana overdose. In contrast, the CDC reports that approximately 22,000 people die every year in the US of alcohol abuse.

Irreversible side effects

No long term effects of MJ have been found. Despite some studies showing a 7-12% decrease in the size of certain brain areas, these effects were not short term and could not be attributed directly t

o marijuana use.

In contrast, long term alcohol consumption has been linked to and increased risk of developing several types of cancer, cirrhosis of the liver and dementia.

Prohibition Origins

The outlawing of MJ wasn't really based on scientific evidence. It was mostly about false assumptions and racism. The man appointed to be the director of the Bureau of Narcotics was a man named Harry J. Anslinger. What pearls of wisdom does he have for us? Let's pull up some quotes:

“There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos, and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz, and swing, result from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and any others.”

“Marihuana leads to pacifism and communist brainwashing”

“Marijuana is the most violence-causing drug in the history of mankind.” (OH NO! Pacifism AND violence?)

If it makes so much sense to repeal MJ laws, why isn't it done? Think about it; MJ is more potent than alcohol, not addictive like alcohol, less lethal than alcohol, cheaper than alcohol and isn't able to be taxed. If you were the government, you'd be outside your mind to make MJ legal. We're trying to work our way out of a recession, not dig ourselves deeper.

What it all boils down to is, which discovery from under little Johnny's bed would worry you more? Mary Jane or Jack Daniels? It's not a matter of being liberal or conservative, clean-cut or hippie. Everyone deserves a say and logic should always prevail.

Martial Arts 101: Intro to the most common martial arts in the UFC

This article is being written in conjunction with my article on how to bet on the UFC (coming soon) but it can also be read as a basic guide to the various popularized martial arts and, hopefully, a guide for an art in which you might one day pursue.

Naturally, if you want to be able to bet on a sport, you have to be familiar with all it's aspects. To my knowledge, no other sport has athletes competing against each other using such vastly different methods and techniques. That's why it's crucial that you study each art and analyze its strengths and weaknesses.

The martial arts of the UFC can be broken down into 2 main categories: striking and grappling. A fighter will either try to knock their opponent out or force them into submission.

Striking

Karate (Shotokan, Kyokushin, Kenpo)

Karate is a Japanese term meaning "empty hand." Essentially, many techniques fall under this category, but the Ones most seen in UFC fights are Kyokushin, Shotokan and Kenpo. Karate is base purely on quick, accurate and powerful strikes using both legs and hands. One thing that should be noted about karate practitioners is their ability to focus, even when being charged, and deliver knockout punches. Chuck Lidell is a great example of this; many times he can get his knockouts while backing out of a flurry of his opponent’s strikes. The lesson to take from this: never underestimate karate’s defense against both rushed striking and grappling clinches.

Boxing

Boxing is a stand up art focused purely on punching. Needless to say, boxers carry devastating punches. They also focus on their footwork and upper body motion which gives them an edge on dodging punches and high kicks. Where they tend to lack experience is in ground work and low kicks. Their emphasis on the upper body might have them forget about the low kicks, making their legs easy to weaken. A boxer with beaten up legs entering a grapple has his odds severely reduced. However, the odds of seeing a MMA fighter with only a boxing background are slim to none unless you're watching a UFC in the single digits. Nowadays, boxers will round themselves out with a grappling art like wrestling or BJJ. Still, even with the grappling, boxers have trouble against legs. Example: Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, fmr. UFC heavyweight champ with a boxing/wrestling background, has been KO'd and TKO'd exclusively by kicks and knees.

Taekwondo

Developed in Korea, Taekwondo is all about kicks. Literally, the name "Taekwondo" translates to "the foot and fist strike art", however kicks dominate the art. In a moment's notice, a TKD artist can deliver a knockout kick straight to the head. Fighters who go mad punching and rarely work on their dodges and dips run the risk of being floored by any number of TKD kicks. Like boxing, I can't think of any fighter who solely relies on TKD for their experience. A TKD fighter will usually have a grappling art under his belt as well (eg. Anderson Silva). Mostly what a TKD experience should tell you is that you can give "kicking proficiency" a big check plus plus on the fighter's profile. When it comes to range, TKD wins hands down. Not only does it emphasize the use of the legs as its primary weapon, but TKD also stresses mobile kicks. To achieve greater range, fighters will move forward as they kick in order to achieve the maximum possible reach advantage. (see video below)

Muay Thai (or Thai Boxing)

Muay Thai is Thailand's kickboxing. Whereas regular kickboxing consist of punches and kicks, MT throws elbows and knees into the mix. Why? 'Cause the Thai are just that much more badass. Knees and elbows are dangerous for two reasons. Firstly, they direct a tremendous amount of force into a relatively small area on the the body, causing devastating damage. Secondly, they allow the fighter, who's already dangerous at long range, to be dangerous at close range and clinch attempts. A grappler who's too slow on his clinch will find himself barraged with a MT expert's knees aimed directly at his face.

Kickboxing

Kickboxing, I assume, needs little explanation. Basically, it's boxing with kicks thrown into the mix. The result is a fighter who will wear his opponent down with lightning fists then, without notice, deliver a wrecking ball of a kick to the temple. Despite the fact that kickboxing consists of both punches and kicks, it crucial to realize that the majority of KB fighters will favor their legs knockout. Legs have both longer reach and, since they've perfected the accuracy of their kicks, a tibia whipped at an opponents temple will almost always result in a KO. This gives them an edge over fighters using a shorter range technique like boxing.

Grappling

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ)

The UFC you know and love was made by the Gracie family purely to show the world that Brazilian Jiu Jitsu kicks the shit out of any other martial art. It just so happens that it did exactly that. For the first few UFCs, BJJ dominated all other fighting styles. Just to show that it wasn't brute force and was actually a flawless technique that was conquering UFC belts, the Gracie family elected that Royce Gracie be the one to fight instead of the older and larger brothers. The logic that if Royce, who was flirting with 180 lbs, could submit any fighter that stepped into the ring with him, then there must be something to this BJJ.

As for the technical side, BJJ is a grappling sport based on gaining a dominant position and, from that position, have the dominant fighter utilize his largest muscle groups, along with his body weight, to exploit the smallest, weakest joints on the opponent and extend them past their normal range of motion to the point that the pain becomes intolerable. The reason this was so successful was that, all the other martial artists that had fought Royce had never before been in such a scenario where they're on their backs on the ground, especially not the boxer (see UFC 1 vid).

Whereas with other martial arts I mentioned that fighters would combine another martial art to get some sort of balance, you will occasionally see fighters coming in with a background heavily saturated in BJJ.

Wrestling (and Greco-Roman Wrestling)

Wrestlers in the UFC have one goal: to slam their opponent on the mat....hard. Wrestlers have the amazing ability to rob their enemy of a center of gravity and bring them down hard. From this point they'll either attempt to submit or, more likely, ground and pound away until either the opponent or ref decides that enough is enough. Ground and pound, you have to realize, is much more dangerous than standing punches. (watch this video).

While the video goes over all the essential benefits of ground and pound, one point that I see as misleading is when they state that G&P seldom leads to a knockout. You can't say that each of Couture's punches are double that of a heavyweight boxer then, in the next sentence, that it seldom leads to a knockout because of "turtling up." Take into consideration that:

a) The opponent cannot move back

b) The fighter's strikes are aided by gravity/body weight

c) The opponent's counterstrikes are weakened by gravity

d) The oppenent's body is absorbing much more shock from the strike since the ground is preventing recoil

The truth of the matter is that ground and pound is lethal and the only reason an announcer would make such a statement is to (poorly) segway into the next topic.

Judo

Judo is meant to be a soft and gentle art. Practitioners (judoka) learn to use the momentum of their opponent against them. It's from judo that sambo, aikido and Brazilian jiu jitsu originated. Judoka have their way of removing their opponents' supporting leg then, when the weight shifts, topple them onto the mat for an unforgiving joint lock. While there are strikes in judo, they're not directed at a knockout; rather, to facilitate an inevitable takedown.

Both

Sambo

An anagram for "self defence without weapons", the Russian Sambo was originally designed as a military self-defence technique. Only later did it become a sport. It includes the fierce strikes of karate, the unbearable submissions of judo and the devastating slams of wreslting. It shouldn't surprise you to see a fighter using a purely sambo background since it is, in itself, a complete MMA fighting style. Weaknesses in sambo practitioners vary from fighter to fighter since, in theory, their style encorporates all factions of UFC fighting. One of the most famous fighters using sambo is Fedor Emilianenko. You won't be seeing him in the UFC, but that's politics I won't get into.

Other arts that are popular but just aren't suited for UFC, for various reasons, include (but aren't limited to):

Aikido, savate, sumo and capoeira

So there you have it, a BRIEF intro to the main martial arts you'll be seeing in the UFC. I stress that these descriptions are neither complete nor is the list exhaustive. If you have any arts you feel are worth mentioning, comment below and I'll add to the list.