Time to celebrate the festival of lights! I hope you're excited to light the candles, spin the dreidel and open presents. Among all the excitement, you can't forget the beverages. Nothing eases a person out of the cold and into a warm atmosphere like a well placed drinks. How about you offer your guests something original and Channukah-related this year? Here are some suggestions for drinks that you can serve that no one will find in any bar.
I'll have:
Saba's Hannukah Gelt
1 oz. Canadian Whiskey
1/2 oz. Peach Schnapps
Fill Orange Juice
Even Saba deserves his gelt on Channukah. Bonus: the vitamin C from the orange juice will keep your immune system charged this (swine) flu season
She'll have a:
Dairy Dream
2 oz. Bailey's
1 oz. Kahlua
Fill Hot Chocolate
Top whipped cream (optional)
This drink, not only keeps you warm and comforted, but it goes along with the tradition of eating dairy on Hannukah. When Jerusalem was under seige, Yehudit (Judith), an attractive widow, seduced the Syrian general and fed him cheese and wine. The following morning, the Syrian army woke up, found the general's head on one of the gates of Jerusalem and fled.
"Speaking the Truth in times of universal deceit is a revolutionary act." -- George Orwell
The main point of Standard Deviations is to put you ahead of the crowd and put your head above the sea of ignorance in our world. Occasionally, social stigmas are made for political reasons and aren't founded in logic or science. Marijuana is one of those cases. Despite what you may think, dope is actually less dangerous than alcohol in every possible way.
Overdose?
A way of measuring a substance's toxicity is by it's lethal dose (LD). The LD50 is the amount of the given substance that will kill 50% of subjects. The LD50 of THC, according to published papers, is such that 1500 lbs. of marijuana would have to be smoked withing 15 minutes in order to reach the lethal level.
The lethal dose of MJ is approximately 1000 times greater than the effective dose. Meaning you would need to smoke 1000 times the regular amount to make it dangerous. As for alcohol, the lethal dose is 10 the effective dose, making the overdose actually possible.
There has never been a reported case of death by marijuana overdose. In contrast, the CDC reports that approximately 22,000 people die every year in the US of alcohol abuse.
Irreversible side effects
No long term effects of MJ have been found. Despite some studies showing a 7-12% decrease in the size of certain brain areas, these effects were not short term and could not be attributed directly t
o marijuana use.
In contrast, long term alcohol consumption has been linked to and increased risk of developing several types of cancer, cirrhosis of the liver and dementia.
Prohibition Origins
The outlawing of MJ wasn't really based on scientific evidence. It was mostly about false assumptions and racism. The man appointed to be the director of the Bureau of Narcotics was a man named Harry J. Anslinger. What pearls of wisdom does he have for us? Let's pull up some quotes:
“There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos, and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz, and swing, result from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and any others.”
“Marihuana leads to pacifism and communist brainwashing”
“Marijuana is the most violence-causing drug in the history of mankind.” (OH NO! Pacifism AND violence?)
If it makes so much sense to repeal MJ laws, why isn't it done? Think about it; MJ is more potent than alcohol, not addictive like alcohol, less lethal than alcohol, cheaper than alcohol and isn't able to be taxed. If you were the government, you'd be outside your mind to make MJ legal. We're trying to work our way out of a recession, not dig ourselves deeper.
What it all boils down to is, which discovery from under little Johnny's bed would worry you more? Mary Jane or Jack Daniels? It's not a matter of being liberal or conservative, clean-cut or hippie. Everyone deserves a say and logic should always prevail.
This article is being written in conjunction with my article on how to bet on the UFC (coming soon) but it can also be read as a basic guide to the various popularized martial arts and, hopefully, a guide for an art in which you might one day pursue.
Naturally, if you want to be able to bet on a sport, you have to be familiar with all it's aspects. To my knowledge, no other sport has athletes competing against each other using such vastly different methods and techniques. That's why it's crucial that you study each art and analyze its strengths and weaknesses.
The martial arts of the UFC can be broken down into 2 main categories: striking and grappling. A fighter will either try to knock their opponent out or force them into submission.
Striking
Karate (Shotokan, Kyokushin, Kenpo)
Karate is a Japanese term meaning "empty hand." Essentially, many techniques fall under this category, but the Ones most seen in UFC fights are Kyokushin, Shotokan and Kenpo. Karate is base purely on quick, accurate and powerful strikes using both legs and hands. One thing that should be noted about karate practitioners is their ability to focus, even when being charged, and deliver knockout punches. Chuck Lidell is a great example of this; many times he can get his knockouts while backing out of a flurry of his opponent’s strikes. The lesson to take from this: never underestimate karate’s defense against both rushed striking and grappling clinches.
Boxing
Boxing is a stand up art focused purely on punching. Needless to say, boxers carry devastating punches. They also focus on their footwork and upper body motion which gives them an edge on dodging punches and high kicks. Where they tend to lack experience is in ground work and low kicks. Their emphasis on the upper body might have them forget about the low kicks, making their legs easy to weaken. A boxer with beaten up legs entering a grapple has his odds severely reduced. However, the odds of seeing a MMA fighter with only a boxing background are slim to none unless you're watching a UFC in the single digits. Nowadays, boxers will round themselves out with a grappling art like wrestling or BJJ. Still, even with the grappling, boxers have trouble against legs. Example: Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, fmr. UFC heavyweight champ with a boxing/wrestling background, has been KO'd and TKO'd exclusively by kicks and knees.
Taekwondo
Developed in Korea, Taekwondo is all about kicks. Literally, the name "Taekwondo" translates to "the foot and fist strike art", however kicks dominate the art. In a moment's notice, a TKD artist can deliver a knockout kick straight to the head. Fighters who go mad punching and rarely work on their dodges and dips run the risk of being floored by any number of TKD kicks. Like boxing, I can't think of any fighter who solely relies on TKD for their experience. A TKD fighter will usually have a grappling art under his belt as well (eg. Anderson Silva). Mostly what a TKD experience should tell you is that you can give "kicking proficiency" a big check plus plus on the fighter's profile. When it comes to range, TKD wins hands down. Not only does it emphasize the use of the legs as its primary weapon, but TKD also stresses mobile kicks. To achieve greater range, fighters will move forward as they kick in order to achieve the maximum possible reach advantage. (see video below)
Muay Thai (or Thai Boxing)
Muay Thai is Thailand's kickboxing. Whereas regular kickboxing consist of punches and kicks, MT throws elbows and knees into the mix. Why? 'Cause the Thai are just that much more badass. Knees and elbows are dangerous for two reasons. Firstly, they direct a tremendous amount of force into a relatively small area on the the body, causing devastating damage. Secondly, they allow the fighter, who's already dangerous at long range, to be dangerous at close range and clinch attempts. A grappler who's too slow on his clinch will find himself barraged with a MT expert's knees aimed directly at his face.
Kickboxing
Kickboxing, I assume, needs little explanation. Basically, it's boxing with kicks thrown into the mix. The result is a fighter who will wear his opponent down with lightning fists then, without notice, deliver a wrecking ball of a kick to the temple. Despite the fact that kickboxing consists of both punches and kicks, it crucial to realize that the majority of KB fighters will favor their legs knockout. Legs have both longer reach and, since they've perfected the accuracy of their kicks, a tibia whipped at an opponents temple will almost always result in a KO. This gives them an edge over fighters using a shorter range technique like boxing.
Grappling
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ)
The UFC you know and love was made by the Gracie family purely to show the world that Brazilian Jiu Jitsu kicks the shit out of any other martial art. It just so happens that it did exactly that. For the first few UFCs, BJJ dominated all other fighting styles. Just to show that it wasn't brute force and was actually a flawless technique that was conquering UFC belts, the Gracie family elected that Royce Gracie be the one to fight instead of the older and larger brothers. The logic that if Royce, who was flirting with 180 lbs, could submit any fighter that stepped into the ring with him, then there must be something to this BJJ.
As for the technical side, BJJ is a grappling sport based on gaining a dominant position and, from that position, have the dominant fighter utilize his largest muscle groups, along with his body weight, to exploit the smallest, weakest joints on the opponent and extend them past their normal range of motion to the point that the pain becomes intolerable. The reason this was so successful was that, all the other martial artists that had fought Royce had never before been in such a scenario where they're on their backs on the ground, especially not the boxer (see UFC 1 vid).
Whereas with other martial arts I mentioned that fighters would combine another martial art to get some sort of balance, you will occasionally see fighters coming in with a background heavily saturated in BJJ.
Wrestling (and Greco-Roman Wrestling)
Wrestlers in the UFC have one goal: to slam their opponent on the mat....hard. Wrestlers have the amazing ability to rob their enemy of a center of gravity and bring them down hard. From this point they'll either attempt to submit or, more likely, ground and pound away until either the opponent or ref decides that enough is enough. Ground and pound, you have to realize, is much more dangerous than standing punches. (watch this video).
While the video goes over all the essential benefits of ground and pound, one point that I see as misleading is when they state that G&P seldom leads to a knockout. You can't say that each of Couture's punches are double that of a heavyweight boxer then, in the next sentence, that it seldom leads to a knockout because of "turtling up." Take into consideration that:
a) The opponent cannot move back
b) The fighter's strikes are aided by gravity/body weight
c) The opponent's counterstrikes are weakened by gravity
d) The oppenent's body is absorbing much more shock from the strike since the ground is preventing recoil
The truth of the matter is that ground and pound is lethal and the only reason an announcer would make such a statement is to (poorly) segway into the next topic.
Judo
Judo is meant to be a soft and gentle art. Practitioners (judoka) learn to use the momentum of their opponent against them. It's from judo that sambo, aikido and Brazilian jiu jitsu originated. Judoka have their way of removing their opponents' supporting leg then, when the weight shifts, topple them onto the mat for an unforgiving joint lock. While there are strikes in judo, they're not directed at a knockout; rather, to facilitate an inevitable takedown.
Both
Sambo
An anagram for "self defence without weapons", the Russian Sambo was originally designed as a military self-defence technique. Only later did it become a sport. It includes the fierce strikes of karate, the unbearable submissions of judo and the devastating slams of wreslting. It shouldn't surprise you to see a fighter using a purely sambo background since it is, in itself, a complete MMA fighting style. Weaknesses in sambo practitioners vary from fighter to fighter since, in theory, their style encorporates all factions of UFC fighting. One of the most famous fighters using sambo is Fedor Emilianenko. You won't be seeing him in the UFC, but that's politics I won't get into.
Other arts that are popular but just aren't suited for UFC, for various reasons, include (but aren't limited to):
Aikido, savate, sumo and capoeira
So there you have it, a BRIEF intro to the main martial arts you'll be seeing in the UFC. I stress that these descriptions are neither complete nor is the list exhaustive. If you have any arts you feel are worth mentioning, comment below and I'll add to the list.
The night's been wild and unforgettable. You, being your classy self, have managed to keep your date enthralled for hours on end. Suddenly, the words that, without exception, bring a tear to any man's eyes resonate through the thick bar air: "last call" It's time to order your final drink before you get the hell out.
You'll have a:
Bloody Mary/Caesar (extra spicy)
1 1/4 oz. Vodka Dash salt Dash pepper Dash worchestershire Few dashes tobasco Dash celery salt Fill with tomato/clamato juice (Note: All "dash" ingredients are by taste. 100's of ratios exist)
Read my article on hangovers to learn why this is the perfect final drink.
She'll have a:
Harvey Wallbanger
1 oz. Vodka
1/2 oz. Galliano
Fill orange juice
The more savvy drinkers will quickly realize that this is a screwdriver with galliano (vanilla liqueur). Again, check the hangover post for why OJ and vodka are good. The galliano adds a new twist she might not have tried all while keeping her buzzed for the afterparty (of two) to come.
You find yourself at a corporate event in a slightly higher class venue. In attempt to mingle with a slightly higher class crowd, you'd like to order something that comes in cocktail glasses. There's always a chance that your non-screwdriver will strike up conversation; in which case you won't have to awkwardly talk about how unpredictable the weather's been. The following drinks are both traditionally served in cocktail glasses.
So you've decided that you know enough about The Ultimate Fighting Championship to start backing your word with some cold hard cash. Before you go running to your bookie with a fistful of dollars, it might be worth your while to first learn how the whole system works.
Before we start anything, it's 100% critical that you be familiar with every martial art you may see in the UFC. Gambling successfully is all about what you know. The more you know, the more educated your bet and the better your chances are at winning. I wrote up an intro to the most common martial arts in the UFC, I suggest you take a look. I included a YouTube video with each art so you can get the basic idea.
The following article explains the concept of betting lines and a basic favorite/underdog betting strategy. More will come regularly
Betting lines
Betting lines tell you the odds of your fighter as well as their potential payout. In the American system, you'll see something like this:
Lyoto Machida (-500)
Mauricio Rua (+300)
The numbers and calculations, though they may appear complicated, are actually very simple.
Firstly, + represents an underdog and - represents a favorite.
Underdog betting
In the case of the underdog, the number represents how much money you'd win if you bet $100
ex:
A $100 bet on Rua (+300) would give you a potential winning of $300
-or-
A $15 bet on Rua (+300) would give you a potential winning of $45
I'm a heavy believer in betting on the underdog. Why? Look at the payoff stats. Using these lines as an example, betting the underdog gives me a 300% return. With these potential winnings, I only need to be right 1 out of 3 times to break even. In a series of 3, the odds of me getting 3 wrong when the line is +300 (I'll explain how to calculate odds from the betting line soon) is 42.2%. This means that, in a given series of three +300 lines, there is a 67.8% chance of you breaking even. In contrast, with a line that is -500, like the favorite seen above, the payoff is 20%. With a payoff like that, breaking even means only making 1 mistake out of 6 picks. The odds of you picking 5 winners, even with a -500 line, is 32.6%
Favorite betting
In the case of the favorite, the number represents how much you'd have to bet to win $100
ex:
A $500 bet on Machida (-500) would give you a potential winning of $100
-or-
A $15 bet on Machida (-500) would give you a potential winning of $3
The dance floor is packed, the lights are strobing and the music is pumping at what feels like 300 BPM. You and your date push through the crowd to make your way to the bar. You're both feeling silly and want to order a shot that you wouldn't ask for in front of your mother. Before ordering remember that shots should be ordered in sets of 3 or more. Any less is just a hassle for the bartender to make.
I'll have a:
Red Headed Slut
1/2 oz. Peach Schnapps
1/2 oz. Jaegermeister
1/4 oz. Cranberry Juice
She'll have an:
Abortion
1/2 oz. Bailey's
1/2 oz. Peach Schnapps
1/4 oz. Grenadine
WARNING: If your bartender is some 19 year old bimbo who got hired for little other reason than her rack, you'll just seem like a douche in front of your date when the half-watt behind the bar will have no clue how to make an abortion, red headed slut, juicy pussy, blowjob, porn star, slippery nipple or buttery nipple.
You just sat down at a cozy restaurant after a long, relaxing day at the beach. You and your partner both agree you'd like something refreshing while the cool breeze kissing your face brings about a sudden desire for warmth. Getting the best of both worlds is easy if you know what to order:
You're having a great time with your date, both enjoying eachother's company. Laughing and joking, you make your way to the bar. The bartender asks what you two will have. She says "get me something I'll like." You panic as you realize you know nothing outside of a rum & coke, screwdriver and vodka martini - shaken not stirred. Clumsily, you try to spot an alcohol behind the bar and think of a juice and spit the two out at the barman.
"Drinks for two" will be an ongoing article giving you ideas what to order yourself and your date as you approach the bar.
I'll have a:
Perfect Manhattan
1 1/2 oz. Canadian Club 1/2 oz. Dry Vermouth 1/2 oz. Sweet Vermouth 2 Dashes Angostura Bitters
his article is being written in conjunction with my article on how to bet on the UFC (coming soon) but it can also be read as a basic guide to the various popularized martial arts and, hopefully, a guide for an art in which you might one day pursue.
So you've decided that you know enough about The Ultimate Fighting Championship to start backing your word with some cold hard cash. Before you go running to your bookie with a fistful of dollars, it might be worth your while to first learn how the whole system works.
