Thursday, May 1, 2008

11 Ways to Have a Better, More Trafficked Blog

So it’s been about 9 months since I’ve started this blog and, in that time, my hits per month have gone up 600% That’s 600x time better anything you’ve done. Since I’m an infinitely nice guy, I’ll let you know how you can do the same and share in my success and increase your blog traffic with QUALITY hits.

Rule #1: Nobody gives a shit about what you had for breakfast or when you bought the latest Hannah Montana album. If you expect to get hits, you have to write something people want to read. What do people want to read? People want to read about their favorite person: themselves. To every living, breathing individual, nothing is more important than their own lives. Anyone else’s life or opinions, with few exceptions, has little importance to them. Good writing will help the reader and isn’t just a vent of how crappy your egg McMuffin was this morning. Let the reader know shit they want to hear…like how to improve their blog.

Rule #2: The human brain is frustrated by having to read narrow columns. A lot of time is wasted by traveling from the end of one line to the beginning of the next one. Overall, it makes your articles look a lot longer than someone would want to read. When you start off on any free blogging service, like blogspot, find a template elsewhere online and switch it right away. It’s a simple copy paste. Knowing some basic HTML helps out mounds.

Rule #3: Add pictures with every entry. Nobody likes seeing a page full of text. It’s intimidating to see and no one who’s leisurely surfing the net wants to brave through a daunting text. Whenever possible, add a picture of a half naked woman. You have no idea how many people you’ll pick up from Google images searches. About 10% of those people will stick around and read some articles.

Rule #4: If you plan on making money, keep them out of the way of your articles. If your text is littered with stupid advertisements, you can bet your sweet Pringles-eating ass that your readers will hit the “back” button after 3 seconds.

Rule #5: Sign up with . This is an online system in where you surf other people’s blogs in exchange for hits to your own. If you sit down with it for about an hour, you’ll have a nice trickle of hits from it for the next few months. This isn’t really generating quality hits since people will only stop by your page for the mandatory 20 seconds then leave but, occasionally, you’ll catch someone who sticks around and reads your articles. If that person enjoys your blog enough to check back (happened to me on several occasions) then you know your page is eye-catching and you’ve done a good job in the design and layout.

Rule #6: Sometimes hundreds of hits to your blog depend on just one word. One relevant word that you forgot to include could cost you. Download yourself a keyword fisher. You’ll enter your subject and it’ll search the net for relevant words that bigger sites use. Using the suggested relevant words could help you get more hits from Google searches.

Rule #7: Stay away from dodgy hit generators. I know this sounds a bit hypocritical considering rule #5, but blog soldiers is an exception. Google will be able to tell when your hits are fakes and you’ll end up with a lower pagerank.

Rule #8: Keep your game clean and avoid porn. There are 3 reasons for this. Firstly, you’re limiting your readership when there’s nudity on the page. People will avoid reading articles when others are around (in class, coffee shops, libraries, etc.). Secondly, when guys start seeing full out nudity, they’ll forget all about your site and go to their favorite porn site. Lastly, you’ll qualify for fewer advertisers when you have adult content on your site. Stick semi-naked to the semi-naked pics and you’ll be fine.

Rule #9: Sign up to a traffic analyzer site like You’ll be able to see what people are searching up to get to your site and which of your links are working. This will give you some hints as to where to advertise next.

Rule #10: No one will psychically know about your blog and enter the URL. You have to get your name out on the web. The more diverse link you have pointing towards your blog, the better. People will come from all over and Google will give you a higher pagerank, which will further boost traffic. Post links in the comments section of similar posts in popular blogs or sites. Ask any contacts with high pageranks to link to you. Never copy and paste a standard message like “I have some more good tips at” all over the net. Google will pick up on this and see you as a spammer. Write a unique message every time.

Rule #11: Even if you have a surge of good ideas for articles, don’t write them all at once. Jot some notes down and save them for later. All too often, writers will get burnt out after writing a dozen entries and not post for another few months, if at all. This irregularity is also bad for readers who might just be returning for the first time and will be deterred from returning again because of the lack of updates.