Clothes Make the Man: The Psychological Power of Suits

A friend of mine recently asked me if I thought activists would be taken more seriously if they wore a suit. Any douchy magazine can tell you "a suit symbolizes power and money and makes you look successful." That's the uninspired bullshit you can find in the back covers over comic books. This is how a suit really makes you the man.

The Blazer

The focal points of the blazer are the shoulders. The shoulder pads turn weak, round shoulders into broad, load bearing ones. Female politicians have already caught on to the idea. A firm set of shoulders portrays you as a stronger, more fit and generally more dependable person. The blazer also comes in on the waist to give a slim, fitted appearance that also makes your shoulders seem bigger by comparison.

The Tie

The tie is the colorful center of the suit. Its dimensions accomplish two things. First of all, it's a vertical line running down the length of your torso. Ever heard of wearing vertical stripes to make you look taller? This is essentially the same thing. A taller man is seen as a better leader. It's no coincidence that, of the past 27 US president, 21 were taller than the person they were running against.
The second function of the tie is to work in conjunction with the shoulder pads to make you appear broader. Ever walk around with a fat chick to make you look skinny? This works on the same principal. The eye is constantly comparing objects in its visual field to pick up cues of their sizes. The skinny tie in the middle of your chest works to makes you look even wider and more intimidating.

The Pants

Suit pants are, for the most part, pressed with a nice, neat pleat running down the length of the leg. This is just another example of vertical lines at work. The suit is actually quite good at creating straight vertical lines but why is it so crucial? It has to do with the way the human eye examines an object. The eye doesn't simply fixate itself at the center point of an object and, from there, scan it entirely. Instead, the eye fixates itself at various points of contrast on the object. The path the eye travels between points of fixation are called saccades. The pant pleats create a vertical line of contrast and ensures that the saccades are mostly vertical in their orientation.

The Shirt

The shirt, being the bottom-most layer, is the backup for all the other weapons in your arsenal. It is crisp, clean and bright so that it can accentuate the features of the blazer, tie and your face. The neck and collar, unlike any other shirt you wear, is made of straight lines. This is to contrast the angles of your chin and make it look more defined and masculine; a trait that is examined when you’re being judged on your attractiveness. More attractive people are generally assumed to be more confident, extroverted and better leaders. The solid color of the tie also serves to contrast the edges of the tie and blazer so that they can do their respective jobs.

The Watch

Some of you will be thinking that a watch isn’t part of a suit. Nothing could be further from the truth. The watch is a crucial accessory that not only allows you to display bling in a modest and classy fashion, but also send a strong message about who you are as a person. The watch sends the signal that you’re conscious of the time and you work on a schedule. It tell people that your life is organized because you manage yourself accordingly. It doesn’t matter if you have the time on your phone or iPod. You need to have a watch.

So, to finally answer my friend, absolutely yes. A well fitted suit makes you look bigger, taller, and more organized. So long as it is worn in the proper context, a suit is designed to enhance your masculine features and, in doing so, subconsciously demands respect and sets you apart from the shlubs who opt for the khakis and parka.

How To Get A Raise Or Promotion

It's no secret; you want money. People that say money doesn't lead to happiness are full of shit. You'd be much happier if you saw some better digits on your check. Here's some tips I've gathered about how to get that raise or promotion.

Firstly, you must prepare yourself before meeting with the boss. A good general will flank his problem from any side possible (well, maybe not, but screw you for ruining the analogy).

Flower Power - If it's acceptable in your workplace, bring in a plant of potted flower to put on your desk. This not only gives off a warmer and more personal vibe, but it also shows that you actually care about your workplace. It shows that your work is something in which you take pride. I wouldn't recommend this for straight men because...well you'll look stupid.

Clean your desk - I don't give a shit about what any cute phrases have to say about messy desks. If your desk is messy, it means you're having trouble staying on top of things. If you're aiming for a promotion, that will most probably require more responsibility, you're going to want to show you can handle the challenge.

Be on top of your work - Any open work that has been left undone has to be finished. The last thing you need when you're asking for a raise or promotion is for your boss to ask about your procrastinated task and, like an embarrassed putz, you'll have to make up an excuse as to why you haven't gotten around to getting your job done.

Dress for Success - If you didn't already know, the golden rule of clothing in the workplace, here it is: "dress for the job you want, not for the job you have." If you want to convince people that you can handle the job, you have to help them picture you in that position. This means that, even if you can get away with sweatshirt and jeans on some days, you should make the effort to still dress nicely. Dressing like a big shot will get people used to the idea that you are some sort of big deal. We were all told by our mother's that clothes don't make the person, but mommy never said that clothes don't make a good impression of the person.

In a perfect work environment, your boss would fully recognize your efforts and reward you justly. Unfortunately, we don't live in this land of omniscient bosses and one sometimes has to take what he wants. Here's what you do and don't do to ask for a raise or promotion.

Clean yourself up - I don't know what this means for women, but I can help the guys. Here's some invaluable tips to make you look like a million bucks. Your boss will subconsciously form a general idea of you and your history based on how you currently look.

Save the waterworks - Never try to gain any leverage by saying you need the money for a hospital bill or your new child or to pay your rent. Your boss doesn't need to hear your sob story. You're asking for a reward for your hard work and an incentive to continue pushing yourself in the company. This isn't a charity donation and any hint of self-pity will get you nowhere.

Be "you" heavy - Everyone has 1 favorite person in the world; one person that they always care for. That person is themselves. People like it when the topic of conversation is them. This means you should watch your phrasing. Instead of saying "I think I deserve a raise/promotion" say "wouldn't you agree that I deserve a promotion?" Not only does this tell the boss that the topic of thought is his own decision on whether or not to give a promotion, but it also saves him a lot of mental. When you say "I deserve a promotion" the boss thinks to himself "he wants a promotion, do I think he deserves a promotion?" When you ask "wouldn't you agree that I deserve a promotion?, however, the first step in his though process is cut out and is able to immediately think "do I think he deserves a promotion/raise?" Making the metal task easier will likely raise your chance of getting a positive response. This theory comes from the book "How to Talk to Anyone" by Leil Lowndes

Confident in every sense - It's important to give of the impression that you're confident that you deserve this raise/promotion and your not afraid to ask. This means that you can ask as directly as you want, but if you start fidgeting or looking away, you're screaming out "I'm extremely unsure about this!" This means that, firstly, you won't let your eyes stray past his shoulders. Secondly, your hands are to be at your side, never to be crossed in front of you (means your hiding something) and absolutely NEVER anywhere near your face. Putting you hand near your face will not only cause your speech to be less clear, but it also gives off the impression that you're desperately trying to hide behind someone. It would be wise to practice all these rules at first so you don't panic and make a fool of yourself in the actual meeting.

Sticking to these pretty basic guidelines may not guarantee you the promotion or raise, but you're absolutely better off following these steps. Regardless of the outcome, this was not an "act" that's over. You should adopt these habits because they're likely to help you again further down the road. Should you happen to get a raise, I think it's only fair that you send me a thank you card along with $5 via paypal to show your gratitude.

For more reading on the subject, you should check out:

http://www.quintcareers.com/get_a_raise.html

http://www.blogpinker.com/news-blog/news/dos-when-you-asking-for-a-raise.html

http://www.spherioncareerblog.com/hot_topics/how_to_ask_for_a_raise.php

How to Slack Off at the Office

Many people find themselves stuck in an 8:30 to 5 routine. Day after day they are forced to sit in front of a monitor and monotonously type away. For those about to explode, I have a series of tips to regain your sanity with sneaky ways of taking a little bit of a break.

Camouflaged News - Let's say you want reading your favorite news feed. It's pretty clear that the boss won't be happy if walks by and glances at your screen only to find CNN open. Instead, copy the text of the article into a MS Word file with the company letter head. This way, you can engage your concentration into the story while looking like your focused on proof reading some work.

Double Up Explorer - It's inevitable that someone will pass by while you're aimlessly surfing the net at work. However, when you rush to minimize the IE window, you might not notice that the title can still be seen on the taskbar. To avoid potential embarrassment, open up a second internet window. If you have enough windows open, Windows XP will group the IE windows together and will hide the individual titles. If dealing with Firefox, open a tab with a more business related tab. Befor you minimize, click the work tab and the more appropriate title will be displayed.

Cover Your Tracks - The most important thing you should remember is to cover your tracks. This means open your internet options and clear the history, cookies and temporary files. It's all too easy for your boss to check up on your leisure surfing when you history is left intact.

Be Clairvoyant - If you hear someone coming, close your window and start doing something right away. This may sound obvious but you'd be surprised at how many people will wait until they know that the passerby in coming to them before they'll close their widows. Suddenly starting a new task when someone comes in is highly suspicious. Instead, start holding a paper in each hand. Holding 1 paper makes you look like you just picked it up to look busy. By holding two papers, you appear to be actively comparing them.

Be Colorblind - Webpages with colors and pictures immediately attract attention. Professional slackers might disable pictures from their browsers in the advanced internet settings.

Office Sprints - If you're reading this then you're probably already a slacker. If I just hit then nail on the head, the remember to never walk slowly and look around as you walk through the office. Even, when going to talk to someone, try to look busy and focused on the way. Should the boss real want an update, he'll jot 1 sentence at you and expect a quick answer on the go. Should you dilly dally, the boss will see you have very little important tasks and engage you in a conversation about your progress and guage your productivity.

Screens Saver Life Saver - If your destop is so overrun with windows that you simply can't hide, keep your display settings open. When an intruder enters the room, click the "preview" button on your screensaver then dive into your paperwork. This will make it look like you've been doing that task for at least 5 minutes now and haven't touched your computer.

Alt+Tab - For those that don't already know, pressing alt+tab will scroll you to the next window. This is an easy way of switching back to an appropriate screen without an obvious rushed mouse click. Alternatively, Alt+F4 will close the current window.

That's all for now folks. Keep up the good work...or lack thereof.